crazyfurries: (doom)
Tuck-in for bed was over 2 and a half GODS BE DAMNED HOURS AGO. I HAVE SHIT TO GET DONE TOMORROW ANd...why the fuck ass am I channeling Karkat?

..Trying not to pick at the navel line incisions and completely avoiding putting any kind of pressure on the side abdominal incision since that fucker has been getting pinchy if I so much as think about leaning over to grab something or wear a seatbelt too close to it.
crazyfurries: (hedgeriding)
It's raining outside and thus too wet and cold to continue with the spray painting project my friend and roomie is going to need to wait until I can haul it to the studio to complete it.

No dreams to report, as last night I dined on leftover Vietnamese food instead of funky brie and apple cider.

Today has been a day for hot puer tea with ginger and honey, Japanese cough drops, cleaning the living room, catching up on old anime I haven't seen in a year (Natsume's Book of Friends), and attempting to sketch something inspired by Sfe Monster's recent inktober art.

Might see about making a feast for Sekhmet on all Hallow's instead of monstering this year, since the appendix put the kibosh on any heavy physical activity.


Oct. 26th, 2016 12:16 am
crazyfurries: a cranky abbysinnian kitten (Default)
RIGHTY-O. Before I enter in my dream log of yesterday's subconcious play escapades, I think I need to do something important.

Such as informing y'all that last week Monday I drove my own damn ass to the ER, and after about 4 hours on morphine, was found to have a swollen angry appendix crimped around part of my colon.

This is the past news, and some of y'all already know about it because I was sane and sober enough to let various friends know via phone texts. I'm fine, recovering from surgery and mostly irritated with how little I can get done in a day thanks to a limit put on how much I can lift/carry for another two weeks. The offending organ has been removed and....yeah. Maybe I'm not mentally okay with the series of events.

...anyhow I'm going to make an effort while recovering to at least write something each day.

Even if it's just a few sentences about my day and not good stuff life dream entries.


Dream notes 10-25-2016

Woke up at 6:25 am after having insanely convoluted art-dream that involved me retracing my steps to regain my art supplies from a previous adventure-dream that spanned 3(? may be more) different Conventions during one summer season. Cosplaying and cosplayers were represented of seriously way too many fandoms to name in waking hours (dear brain apparently brie that is slightly off and apple cider before bed is not the wisest plan) along with my ghetto-ass attempts to cosplay with them as fancharacters (Steven Universe Gems).

At this point I'm rereading what I have just written and wondering why the actual FUCK I'm having an insanely complex dream in just 3 hours of sleep. I haven't finished writing it all down but the reason for my status as being wide-fucking-awake is made known as the upstairs neighbors thump and complain overhead.

Back to the point, because partway through this run of madness that were sitcom-level wacky attempts at control and encouragement of my creative processes in life, lucidity dawned in that fine moment of 'waaaaaait a second, I know I've danced to this tune before'. After that it was observing my 'self' as the rest of the insanity progressed including apt descriptions from the police for a BOLO on my jeep, for my arrest over something I vaguely recall involving milk crime. ... There were car crashes going through stacks of supplies that I'd salvaged from around half of the sites I'd visited on a prior trip when I started asking the question "Wait, didn't all of this happen three fucking years ago? None of that stuff would even still be in place back there anymore, people got Lives to LIVE and my shit would have just been thrown away because it was in their way'.

It was then a progression of a trainwreck as things all became comically worse, to the point where I'm standing in the exploded remains of where my art studio shack used to be, completely unharmed and having not learned the lesson at all before raring off to go help a friend to make myself feel better about the entire stinking pile of drama.

Seriously brain, WHAT THE HELL. Going to attempt to go back to sleep now at 7 am. After all of that I had to wake up, realize I needed to pee painfully bad and write all of this down before it all escaped my brain.
crazyfurries: (real life)
...on this day in 1950, Johanna M. Schwalbe was born in Rome, Georgia. Her father and mother were both teachers, Jack Schwalbe teaching engineering and machine shop, Nina Schwalbe teaching English and Home Economics.

I could fill in the rest of the details between that day and today, but the important thing is this. I'd rather honor the day my mother entered the world, than spend a day weeping on the anniversary of when she left this mortal coil.

Every year, if I have the funds to do so, I make a donation to the Alpha-1 Foundation.

This year, is probably the first time I've actually be able to be coherent enough to talk about it and actually do the deed exactly on the date in question.

I guess this is what's called progress.
crazyfurries: a cranky abbysinnian kitten (Default)
....reading over old entries from 8 years ago and just crying a little bit. Some of it good, some of it sore like an old scar you can't help but pick at.

For what may be the fifth or sixth time in four years I'm moving again, while unemployed. I have savings to make the move and signed the lease, so that's not the worry.

There's good things in here as well, like how I finally figured out what that form of Japanese saschiko-like embroidery for the fishing kimono was. It's called Boro and I love it and hate the fact that the folks who do the work for it aren't paid NEARLY what it's worth in the art galleries.

I've both grown as a person and in knowledge but also...have way less energy.
crazyfurries: (cackletiems)
...and now I have the makings for plot and things for someone special.

YES. I finally got to see Ghostbusters tonight with my platonic girlfriend and almost died from lack of air and abundance of laughter.
crazyfurries: (doom)
Good News: I get tomorrow off from the the hell plant that is the temp job at the plastics company

Bad news: Tomorrow afternoon I am supposed to be getting a call if I am going to be going back there to work or not.

Good news: The creeping tingling an occaissional nerve pinch going on in my hands and fingers for the past two weeks has been looked at.

Bad News: It's carpal tunnel syndrome. I did not have the social spoons to delve into the late-afternoon swarm at Walmart to pick up naproxen or special wrist splints for when I sleep. Things for tomorrow's todo list

Bad news: Since my bank reported that some of my information on a website I shopped at has been stolen, so I had to go to the bank, cancel my debit card and withdraw the $$$ needed to pay for Rent, Food, Gas and most importantly of ALL...the upcoming expenses for the con.

Good news: I am on for hitting up Convergence in Minneapolis over the 4th of July weekend next week. Hotel is a go, registration already paid for, time taken off TWICE (if Raoul tries to set me up with something next week for temp work I WILL LIGHT THAT PUERTO RICAN MAN ON FIRE)

Bad news: I didn't get enough punk patches made for the Whales Ate My Baby packs. Or any of the really FUN ones made up (srsly, the fact that there is a GIRAFFE constellation cracks me the hell up)

...I thought I had more but right now I've spent 15 hours awake and sober and I really need to fix ONE OF THOSE THINGS. Because Rage Sewing isn't an option with carpal tunnel.
crazyfurries: a cranky abbysinnian kitten (Default)
Today was a day filled with craft stores, rap-musicals, and playing Cards Against Humanity all through the rest of the afternoon. I won.

I gotta remember today was not that bad all in all.
crazyfurries: (doom)
Sooo... The place I was going to get hired at ran out of work (their director has promised the agents at the temp agency that the company WILL BE HIRING ME ON when more work arrives)...which led to everyone except half a skeleton crew (for running the factory) to being temporarily laid off before Memorial Day. This happened last week Thursday. There were other events related to that time and event, some of which people already know about. In the sense that they knew not to poke the nuclear bear.

For the past week I've been working at another factory through the same temp agency... Tomorrow, I will be calling them while on one of my breaks, to say that I will NOT be fucking continuing this bullshit of a week of 12 hr shifts in a place with no fucking fans worth a damn, while standing on my feet for all but 45 minutes of that 12 hour shift.

Right now my everything hurts, I have no energy to write any fiction or tag... and I have to get up at 3:30 am again tomorrow for another shift.

...I think everything below the navel is going to try to murder me in my sleep tonight.

I also suck at keeping on with updating this journal. Sorry.
crazyfurries: a cranky abbysinnian kitten (Default)
I am now 70% moved into the new place in Sheboygan and wow have I really let myself slide on updating things since I got stuck in the ass-end of no-where Wisconsin.

Fun thing, the meat-packing plant job let me go after 4 days, saying "You don't seem to be a good fit for our company". Not actually to my face, I heard this through the temp service via phone call about 20 minutes after leaving work on the 4th day. Suffice to say I was not happy, even less happy when a few weeks later Aunt Kate went to ask them WHY I was let go. *Facepalm* Curious does not mean invasive with most people, but with that woman I swear.... Strike one.

Apparently I "Did not soak up new information fast enough" and "chased people out of the breakroom with farting". Those were Kate's words and probably not what the lead supervisor said, because my business with them ended the moment they terminated my contract with them.

On the topic of the puppy situation, she has gotten leash trained and regularly goes out on walkies with Aunt Kate who is absolutely smitten with her. Kate has fallen out with the dog rehabilitator for not bringing the dog in for examination over in Iowa. By falling out I mean Kate won't listen to any experts now, save for the ones who've written books or made audiobooks about the subject of dogs. Strike Two!

I think in the heaviest of topics that need to be updated, this recent Labor Day I did NOT get to pack everything up and go down to Sheboygan as previously planned, but instead had to suffer through Aunt Kate's attempts to get someone to come by and fix the water heater on the RV for free. Which was followed by her saying that we 'needed to have an important talk' over a good dinner somewhere. (it ended up being this faux-wildwoods restaurant called ADVENTURES, believe me they want the name capitalized) She didn't hint about what the talk was going to be about so believe me when I say that I didn't believe what I was hearing at first. According to her, if I don't become self-sustaining in the next 3-5 years my family may take measures to have me declared 'incompetant' and sent into a group home for adults or possibly even institutionalized. I didn't take it well and started crying at the end of the meal as I lost both my appetite and my attention span during Kate's long-winded plans to get me a job that has a retirement fund.

Next day I wake up to find out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store the night before when I'd purchased a mix-n-match 6pack of beer for night time coping strategies. With three hours cut from an already re-arranged packing day I didn't get to load the dresser into the jeep with my clothes as had been previously planned. I landed in Sheboygan safely after a 6hr drive and promptly just stared at a wall for a while until my friend got done with her job and then took us out to eat, because according to her "You've had a shitty day yesterday and you need some happy." I love my friends, because not only do they give me a place to live, but her family wants to adopt me, and I feel at home.
crazyfurries: a cranky abbysinnian kitten (Default)
So I've talked things over with my aunt and I'm setting up to move back down to Sheboygan at the end of September. That's the great news because up here in the Christian God run and bear-filled north I have no tribe. Also a couple nights ago the high-pitched grunting I heard in the yard was a bear taking a dump not 20 feet away from the machine shed where the RV is parked.

SCREW THIS. I draw the line at having bears for neighbors fuck you very much.

The only good news is that today, after my job interview on Monday, I got the call back from a steady job at the meat-packing plant 45 minutes from here. I don't have to stay if I don't like it but it's going to be income for a little while.

Yes, you read that right, meat packing plant. I'm not allowed into the slaughter or meat-cutting rooms because I got hired through a temp service. I'll stick with this for a while but I do not forsee it working out, especially if I want to be GONE by the end of September.
crazyfurries: (real life)
First off, good news since my last post.

We caught the puppy and I unintentionally made $100 off of it. She is an adorable creature who seems to be perpetually terrified and now gods help me might be entering heat. The aunt is planning to take puppy to a rehabilitator for evaluation because the 5 weeks running around in the bush and getting chased by the local rednecks did not help anything.

Said rehabber for this breed of dog lives in Southern IOWA so that's gonna be one fun road trip.

I've been starting to apply for factory work and I almost wish I weren't but... I need to stop spending my inheritance and get an actual job. Enough to support myself and get away from my aunt.

She says I need to give this place more of a chance, I've only been her barely two months.

I am not convinced, but fighting that topic is a noisy, angry, and often fruitless battle. Though she has given up on getting me to buy the house down the road and fix it up as an INVESTMENT. Ai, ai, ai, so many things wrong with that I have no idea how to list them.
crazyfurries: (plush bug)
So this week has been terribly rainy and terribly exhausting in that things with my aunt keep hitting setbacks. There's also a lost puppy involved, and really the entire thing is exhausting to explain, even if it boils down to Aunt Kate being too stubborn to listen to instructions.

When the handler of the purebred puppy you ordered delivers the pup and tells you NOT TO TAKE IT OUT OF THE CRATE OR IT WILL SLIP THE LEASH YOU DAMN WELL LISTEN.

We see the dog often enough, and I know y'all will rightly worry about it. Right now I have zero energy to worry about the dog. I hope Kate gets her head out of her butt and gets down to business for actually live-trapping the puppy because that may be the only sure, humane way to GO.

I saw BEARS on the side of the road the other day and regularly hear coyotes. Nothing is kosher about this and I'm living out of an RV in the machine shed right now. It's supposed to be temporary but I have little faith about this arrangement working out like it was supposed to on time.
crazyfurries: (erba?)
Finally communicated with Aunt Kate about wants and needs on boht sides, after I called Sue. I called Sue because it'd seemed that Kate had pulled a quick changes on our plans for an exploration today and gone ahead to one of the destinations. I'm still slightly nervous about going out to see these places to apply for jobs. Yesterday I ran around to five different places and handed in applications, today was a day without so much as one.

We talked about a lot of things, but mostly what I had planned for myself. Here's the thing, I have no plans or end goals for myself when someone asks this question. It's the sledgehammer to the kneecaps of a thought process, even if it's a well meaning one. Sometimes I need to stop dancing around an issue.

I have no five year plan beyond "Portland is a shiny place to be" and "I want to do creative arty things". These are not especially helpful, because the former could easily be replaced with another area to live. The latter carries all of the usual connotations of the starving artist.

I want to earn enough that I'm not relying on the inheritence to survive.

I would like to be less anxious about people.

I am less irritated with Wisconsin as a whole of a state, and even can think of it kindly.

I might move back to Sheboygan, (though not with Erycka who is still screening my calls).

I might stay here. Much as it frightens me to admit this. I miss my friends in Sheboygan like gangbusters but even they can't guarantee me a job.

I've moved and I have no idea what the frak I am doing.

Life, I guess.

I miss my cuddlecat Louie (he's staying with Kate because this place doesn't allow pets) and purple itsy blanket, but things are okay at the MacArthur Hotel/boarding house. The lady who owns this place just brought me cookies because I've apparently gotten in on her good side. Mostly by making my bed and asking if I can help out.
crazyfurries: (doom)
Kate still doesn't have the room ready for me so i've been staying at a local 110+ year old boarding house near the train tracks in Bruce, WI. You see what I did in that sentence? I have just showed why I am a cranky monkey, that's what. Not only is this place the sort of tick infestation where you can pick up the fuckers in a PARKING LOT, but judging from the smell of things, Aunt Kate wasn't kidding about the feral kittens she 'rescued' from her next door neighbor being feral.

As a note, that neighbor is the kind of kindergarten flunk-out who takes pot shots at any outdoor animals.

It is lovely up here and the weather has been stellar, but I do not think living here long-term is an option or a very good plan. At all.

I have three more places to apply to this afternoon, so here goes everything.
crazyfurries: a cranky abbysinnian kitten (Default)
Everything save for an empty dress, some basic entertainment stuffs, vet papers, and my mattress with the sheets has been packed away for the move.

If only excitement didn't easily slip into being fear and terror. I am ...well, relieved to be leaving this apartment complex, that much is certain. Kind of too late for me to change my plans and move into an apartment in Sheboygan, but who knows, after legal stuff and I ..

I find myself questioning my own sanity a LOT right now. I'm moving in with an aunt I'm frustrated by and quite possibly moving even further out into the boonies than I was borned and raised in. I like the city to be honest, it has people and art and access to stores, but damn if I've had trouble here in Oshkosh. When I move in with Kate and we get internets I am going to be looking non-stop for places in Sheboygan, even asking Mari to check some for me.

I've had no luck getting my stuff from Erycka. I am not looking forward to scheduling the police visit with her.
crazyfurries: a cranky abbysinnian kitten (Default)
Today was a good day over all. I packed one large box, picked up six more apple boxes for packing, donated plasma to get $50, some scribbling was done at plasma donation (not much, one page. I used to fill more) and after all of that my brother Martin stopped by on a surprise visit, in which we shared ice cream and discussed various topics.

Me being the nervous wreck I am while moving, I did start crying a little when the topic of the old family lake cottage came up. There are so many memories there and at this moment I can do nothing while the aunties and uncles discuss selling it since they are too old to take care of it and most of the cousins are showing no interest in keeping it. So. Yeah. I can type it out and remain relatively rational (ha!) and then go onto other things. It just hurts and hollows me out.

After those talks about the move, it's costs, what I was doing about it, what kind of trailer rating does my hitch have and is good for... I need a reciever bolt and then I can get a hitch on it. Even though the people at U-haul said they'd rent me what I'd need to haul a trailer, Martin's advice is that I find a 2 inch receiver and save some money.

Also, during his visit, he gave some very good advice about the packing and stacking of what I'm bringing with me. Some of it, such as the "three bags" rule don't apply to crafters and artists, but the advice about the important stuff getting packed last into the trailer makes hella sense. This way it gets unloaded first, no fuss, no muss. Ofcourse more work was required to make such a space for organization happen. So much had to be lifted, moved and re-cleaned before he would accept it as a space to start laying out for how I will pack thins. Many items will end up in recycling, donated or thrown out. I am irritated and sad that I don't have a way to get all the liquor bottles I saved from my idiot neighbors over to the lady in Elkhart who turns them into wicked candle lanterns but such is life at this point.

I'm writing this now because I started babbling at a friend as soon as I got online, by Ptah's starry BALLS this in insane. I hate moving. I need to get out of here with the shitty apartment and the shitty neighbors though. Such is the life.

No embroidery was accomplished today.
crazyfurries: a cranky abbysinnian kitten (Default)
Last night's neighbor-and-sunlight-induced five hour limit on sleep has made today a rough day for packing and taking care of the business of the stock portfolios mom left for us three kids.

I am beyond tired and while I've gotten four boxes packed and sealed today I do not wish to remain sober for the remainder of the evening. Sadly, there is nothing in the budget to fix this particular problem.

I just need to hold on and remember that after the weekend of the 24th I will be able to have peace and quiet.
crazyfurries: (real life)
Yesterday and today seemed to go swimmingly well for me. I got to eat a good lunch with a so much cider at Gardina's tapas on Main street, picked up a new sketchbook, visited the new meat market on Main St., made myself a hair appointment because I had been well past overdue for a trim, got myself the next gauge up for stretching my ears for plugs and managed to get a couple of numbers for apartment hunting. All of that before hitting up my chiropractic appointment and sketching out a some more lovely monsters in the art journal.

Today started with me waking up to a crown of fluffy awesome for my hair, and on the way out to dispose of a broken chair and the recycling met one of my nice upper-floor neighbors. Who then gave me a lift to downtown since he was amazed that I was out walking in this bittercold weather. Thanks to him I got in earlier than anticipated and was able to get some deals on metal studs at the head/punk shop. Further along I stopped in at the local organic bulk foods store three buildings down and picked up lots of bulk english breakfast loose leaf tea and scent sampled their essential oils to test combos out for a project with [personal profile] camwyn. Right after completeing my purchase, my aunt Kate called and really just jawed my ear off for a while, half of it about how we were going to do stuff for the move (which we had already agreed on months ago). Oy. Also, I think the move is finalized as she's ordering the chickens and seeds that I wanted to grow. Ain't no backing out now.

The hair appointment went great, since I just needed a trim (and my hairdresser agreed that "oh honey, NO CUTTING THE FLOOF.") I got bonus treatments of some hand massage and a little skin treatment included. After that I walked back to the piercing/tattoo shop where I'd gotten the new gauges to surprise the lady who'd helped me with a free patch since she'd liked my vest. On top of getting more time to sketch, I got to witness some truly adorable things. Like a 4 year old boy counting skulls with his mommy as they waited their turn to get his ears pierced, which was the birthday present he wanted. Alex (the piercer who's been helping me out with making wise choices) was surprised and saddened to learn I'd be moving soon, and actually insisted on paying for the patch she picked out. $15 dollars richer I decided walking my way back up Main Street might be really interesting, if nothing else because I could check out the other tattoo shop which tended to be better with Tengwar script.

See, I've been wanting to get memorial tattoos for each of my parents for a while. I'll reveal the concepts when I get the tattoos, don't worry.

The funny thing was, on the way there, I was smoking my herbal 'happy day' cigarette blend when this old guy smoking with his friends outside of a bar asked me something. Nothing makes hearing someone speak more difficult than having Haelstrom's cover of '1996' blasting on your headphones. Once I got closer, he asked if I was cold.

We know the obvious answer to this one. It is 18 degrees out and that is without the goddamn windchill. Army coats are great but my face was freezing, while this guy was clearly a few drinks into the wind, wearing nothing but a sweatshirt and a t-shirt. I got a surprise when he held the sides of my hood and kissed my nose, wishing me that my day would get warmer and that I could be as happy as he was on his birthday today. We talked after that and I told him about my current objective, to which he said 'hell fucking YEAH, those ideas sound so fuckin' cool'. I left him with two of my herbal cigarettes which I think he believed were the special kind.

The people at the second shop were packed, but once they were done with the people in before me, SUPER HELPFUL with promises to design something good for a pair of tattoos, even having some plugs that the other place wasn't carrying, like gemstone, bone and wooden plugs. My inner pagan was gleeful. It had no idea what was in store after this.

The next stop was a local artist consignment/antiques/salvage store called Folklore, which I love because they have all kinds of things to help inspire a body. Today though I just got magnetized to their big bowl of defunct currency from various countries. There was no excuse for it, but I bought a bag of various coins to use in patches and charms for the future because some of the coin designs were just plain bad ass.

Right across the street was a shop called "Main Street Awakenings" which... Okay, remember what I said about my Aunt and how there was no backing out of moving in with her now? WELL... It was mixed bright joy and deep sorrow to find an absolutely wonderful pagan supply store on the BUS LINE HERE that sold whole resins and stones and so many other wonderful pagan things. I picked up Ginkgo leaf for my cigarettes, frankincense, salt peter, a powdered incense blend called Lodestone, candles... got to the counter to find out everything was BOGO. They also sell Mongolian Tea bricks.

Along the way back I ducked into another of the antique shops on Main Street, which was more of a salvage operation. Once inside of their warehouse area I think I about died of squee from the old tin ceiling tiles, ceramic door knobs and clawfoot bath tubs, to say nothing of some of the old worn-down church pulpits and statues. I left without buying anything, and a head full of fizzing over-stimulation.

This all concluded with an extremely late lunch. I'd lost track of time, during the whole walking about downtown for five hours and my last meal being seven hours prior. Bad Fuzzy. Still, there's worse ways to end the day downtown than with an egg salad sandwich and a bottle of Blackhawk Porter. And ofcourse some sewing because the moocat Louie refuses to let me sit and sew in peace.

Tomorrow's missions: Shallot, batteries for Louie's laser toy, noodles for ramen, Saint Vincent DePaul store and possibly finally renting Pacific Rim to watch it.

Because I have a terrible confession to make. All I know about Pacific Rim, I learned from Tumblr gifs. I'm sorry.
crazyfurries: bordertown vine motorcycle (bordertown)
a quick-burning 'run like hell' slip

firefly hairbalm

a spent spellbox

slippers of the street (tattered denim and stitched with graffiti)


crazyfurries: a cranky abbysinnian kitten (Default)

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